Project 1: Revision 1

Laura Reyes

Joellen Hiltbrand

Engl-205, Sec. 8437

10 March 2019             

 

Editing Challenges used:

*=Organizational Blueprint 

Paragraph Development  

Specific Textual Support

Project 1: About a Shy Girl

Females are very diverse. Some are loud, some are quiet. Some like to joke and some are serious. Some get angry easily and some are bubbly and carefree. Some have a lot of female friends and others prefer to hang with the guys. Some like to dance, some like to chill. Some are social and some prefer to stay to themselves. Some like to go out, while others prefer to stay in. Some like to wear dresses and skirts and others prefer jeans and t-shirts. Some like high heels, others like sneakers. Some are not into sports and others are. Some are into makeup some have no clue on how to put makeup on. Some females have long hair, and some have short hair. Some are tall and others are short. Some are curvy and some are skinny. There are many ways to be a female. Ifapi, the female character from “About the House Girl”, is a shy and sheltered female.

*I view Ifapi as being a shy girl. Ifapi would hide herself from the men that visited her home. “…hid herself when young men came to the house” (Hicks et al.40). Since Ifapi hid herself from the young men, this shows that she was shy. There was an instance when Ifapi’s aunt invited Patapir in her house to eat. He then seen Ifapi who was near the fire and she was covered in a deerskin blanket. She did not move from the spot she was in while Patapir was there (Hicks et al. 41-42). It is obvious that Ifapi was avoiding Patapir. It is like she had a blanket to cover her body as a way to not show how she really looked.  She obviously did not want Patapir to see her and she did not want to interact with him. This shows that she is shy. If she was not shy, she would have found a way to interact with him, she could have introduced herself to him and started a conversation and maybe even flirt. Instead she barely joined the conversation that Patapir and her aunt were having.  

*Ifapi’s father viewed her as a fragile girl. He was very protective of her. Once Ifapi was grown, her father did not set her up with a husband, instead he sent her away to live with her aunt (Hicks et al. 40). This shows that Ifapi’s father viewed her as fragile and did not want any man to break her heart. He was very concerned for her well-being. Ifapi’s father must have been very knowledgeable on the nature of men and new that men can be careless and not care about a female’s feelings. There was another instance when Ifapi returned to her father’s home after she had been living with her aunt. She introduced Patapir as her husband to him. “Her father, sighed, speaking half to himself, half to Ifapi, “‘Ahhh that old woman, my sister, she was not careless with you?’” (Hicks et al. 47). This shows that Ifapi’s father was concerned about Ifapi. He wanted to know that she was safe and happy. This was his way to ask Ifapi how she was doing. Ifapi’s dad said, “’But then whom could you have married? I have heard nothing of any man looking at you only that you were serving the Leader across the ocean…’” (Hicks et al. 47). Ifapi’s father continues to question her. He wants to know how Patapir came into the picture. He wants to know how Patapir is her husband. He is worried because he did not hear anything about Patapir before. The last thing he knows about Ifapi’s life was that she was serving the leader. Ifapi’s father was out of the loop and is very concerned. He only wants the best for his daughter and not want her to be with just any man.   

*Ifapi’s aunt was very protective of her. One day Patapir went to Ifapi’s aunt’s house to look for Ifapi. Ifapi’s aunt invited him in their home to eat some acorn mush. Patapir seen Ifapi and patted her on her shoulder. Ifapi’s aunt noticed and she shouted at him not to put his hands on Ifapi. Ifapi’s aunt was scared for a man to get close to her. She did not know what intentions Patapir had for her niece. That same day Patapir picked up Ifapi and as he was determined to take her with him, Ifapi’s aunt told him that he has to ask permission from Ifapi’s father (Hicks et al. 45-46). Ifapi’s aunt was worried for her niece to leave with Patapir. This is obvious because she was trying to scare Patapir by yelling at him so that he would leave Ifapi alone. She also demanded Patapir to ask permission from Ifapi’s father to take her. This shows that Ifapi’s aunt views Ifapi as fragile because she is very protective of her and does not want anything bad to happen to Ifapi.

*Patapir was very intrigued by Ifapi. His mother often talked about Ifapi and her aunt to him. He would ask questions about Ifapi but all she would say to him was that she did not know much about her besides that she lives with her aunt and that her aunt kept her away from men (Hicks et al. 40-41). “Patapir continued to think about her, wondering what she was like, wising he might have a glimpse of her” (Hicks et al. 41). This shows that Patapir was very obsessed with knowing Ifapi. He was very into her since he could not stop himself from thinking about her all the time. It is like this mystery of Ifapi was a magnet to him. 

*Finally, I think Ifapi views herself as being an independent women. For example, in the story, Ifapi's aunt told Patapir that it was Ifapi's idea to pretend to be sick and that she asked her aunt to support her (Hicks et al. 46). This shows that Ifapi already knew what she wanted. She did not go on dates with many men, she was not interested in that. It seems like her aunt would have allowed her that freedom but she did not want that. She wanted to save herself for one guy and that would be for her husband. She had her heart set on Patapir, since she was a kid because she new of him and she let him take her arm when she was grown and left with him one of the days he went to her aunt's house (Hicks et al. 41, 47, 48). 

There are many ways to be a female. Some females are loud, and others are quiet. Some like to dance and others prefer to chill. Some have a lot of female friends and others prefer to hang with the guys. Some are social, others prefer to stay to themselves. Some get angry easily and some are bubbly and carefree. Some like to go out, while others prefer to stay in. Some have long hair, and some have short hair. Some are into makeup, some have no clue how to apply makeup. Ifapi is a female that is shy and sheltered.  

Work Cited

Hicks, Jack, et al. “About-the-House-Girl.” The Literature of California. University of California             Press, 2000. pp. 40-50.